30 January 2015


 "matt hitt has the body of jack skellington and the face of an angel"
by Rosie Jarman

I first heard of Matt Hitt on Thursday the 29th of January of the year 2015 while instagram stalking someone I don't remember who posted something about him. After deciding he's definitely a honey, I then started crying about the fact that there aren't any versions of him where I live. WHY SKINNY BAND BOYS IN LEATHER JACKETS ARENT FLOCKING TO ME I WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND.

I want to be with him but I also want to be him, like I totally want to be a boy just so I could be Matt Hitt. Especially the part where as a boy you could wear jeans and t-shirts that aren't sewn to be the shape of lady curves and still be a ttl megababe about it. Plus his little baby eyes in that Harry Styles picture just baring into your soul...

Anyway I immediately texted Avery and Kaitlyn about him which, incidentally is how #boycrushes was born and they can tell you the rest...

"you could spread matt hitt on a bagel with a
 little PB and eat him for brunch"

The first thing you should know about Matt Hitt is that I want to smush my face into his stupid dumb cute malnourished tummy. He is so dumb and cute. It makes me so mad. Another thing you should know is that he has a tiny smirky mouth like a baby rabbit that sometimes says the f-word. I don't know how it's even possible that baby rabbits can be attractive but I promise: it is very possible. The world is full of lame weenies who aren't Matt Hitt and this is the #1 biggest tragedy that I've ever heard.

Also, I really want to talk about a Seriously Important Political Matter named "There Is A Picture Of Matt Hitt Posing With Harry Styles That Exists And It Makes Me Feel Womanly Emotions" but Kaitlyn is a rat weasel and called dibs on discussing this particular phenomenon, so whatever. She probably won't even point out MATT HITT'S STUPID CUTE PEACE SIGN HAND AND HARRY STYLES DOING THE TINIEST MOST DELICATE THUMBS UP IN THE WORLD. Whatever.

 "eight scientific reasons why matt hitt needs to be my boyfriend"
  1. Matt Hitt looks cool 100% of the time. 
  2. Even if he’s wearing a stupid bulky sweater. 
  3. Or a stupid white tank top.
  4. Or a stupid collared shirt buttoned all the way up.
  5. Matt Hitt is in a band.
  6. Matt Hitt likes dogs.
  7. Matt Hitt likes pizza.
  8. Matt Hitt is BFF’s with Harry Styles.


1 comment:

be mature