24 May 2017

six thangs for sprang

hi I would just like to welcome you to a very long montage of Clothes I Want For Right Now. It's relevant, it's important, it's not even fake news even though it says these are for spring but spring is over now so these things are actually for summer.

lite layers + underwears
hello good morning want to know more info about me than is necessary cuz here it is: my number one concern in life right now is procuring five pairs of high waisted cotton briefs. We had one single 90 degree day here in the city and I simply couldnt type "100% cotton" into my search bar fast enough. While I'd like to say I'm hopping around in Pansy Co. for the sake of my environmental and aesthetic integrity, we all know I'm living life on more of a Vanity Fair budget rn and I don't mean the prize-winning publication.
In conjunction, light little cottony bralettes sound like a simple dream these days since there is no greater tragedy than a padded boob in the summer. And, as I always say, suns out buns out, and by buns I mean boobies and by boobies I mean not really out so much as just slightly less entrapped because we're still living under the hyper-sexualized oppression of the patriarchy so we gotta nip responsibly, young patriots.

the two types of jeans no one wants but everyone nEEDs
The First: will come as no surprise to you because undoubtedly you've seen them targeted as the butt of many an instagram starter pack for being insufferably "alt" but guess what guys IF U WANNA BE COOL UR GONNA HAVE TO HOP ON BOARD. We're talking cropped boot-cut jeans of course. Since I, like everyone else, have a unique body, I had to find a pair of regular boot-cut jeans and cut them myself to achieve optimal crop and my favorite part of this process was telling the guy at the soho Levis store that I was looking for high-waisted, black, boot-cut jeans and then watching his brain clearly do a backflip at the thought of it before he scoffed "uh-uh!!! those don't exist!!!" Wait till next summer, my dude, wait till next summer. And then I had to settle for mid-rise.
The Second: verrrry skinny verrrry distressed verrrry light wash verrrry high waisted jeans. I have no idea where this idea came from, where it's going, or why it's here, but it is here and I'm just trying to love it like it's one of my own okay. After wandering through miles of high street stores getting nauseous at how STUPID skinny jeans are, I think my brain did a subtle maneuver in which the thing i hated the most (ie: every trend in denim this season) somehow morphed into a weird form that I actually started to want. light-wash distressed boyfriend jeans? great, but i'll take them as skinnies. dark wash high-waist skinnies? i'll take 'em light. do you see what's happening here? it's called: I ONLY WANT WHAT I CANT HAVE BECAUSE IT DOESNT EXIST.

corset tees
Corset tees are something that, against all odds, I like. If someone were to have said to me *hey rosie, picture this: a t-shirt that laces up on the sides like a corset* I would have promptly thrown a rock through a window in protest. But I saw one version of it that wasn't revolting and now here we are. At the very least, can we all agree to go for more subtle versions with a bit of loose tee above and below the waist and probs deffo not participate in the frontal-lacing kind pls and thx.

red: at all times and in all things and in all places
As a redhead, me and the color red have had a long history in which I don't wear it or buy it. Aside from a substantial foray into red lipstick territory for the past five years, I've owned nothing in the shade opting instead for anything that runs between a spectrum of black-to-white and grey-to-blue. But SURPRISE BINCHES, red has emerged as the color of the summer 2k17 by Rosie Jarman. I was first gaslighted into this concept by fall-time pics of redheads in monochromatic versions of tomato, rust, and mandarin. So of course, now that fall/winter is over and the palette is seasonally inappropriate, I'm ready to invest. Definitely a fan of the monochromatic approach, as well as the dynamic between cinnamon and ice blue (reference above light-wash jeans) and although bright reds for summer are obvious, sorry, I am still all about the mixturing of shades to achieve a simple *red rainbow* on ur very own body. You can't deny, red feels festive as frick no matter the time of year. vive la france!!

strawl hats
To the surprise of absolutely no one, I've been obsessive-compulsively thinking about the Jacquemus straw hat since the spring when I dove head-first back into my once-yearly devotion to all things western. As summer comes around, though, and people keep talking about straw this and wicker that, I've become only interested in all-black straw hats but also I just noticed the Jacquemus retails for only 150 euros and I have a payday coming up so you do the math, guys. Now please also I would like to take a moment of silence for the most perfect vintage wicker box-purse that I bought back home in UT. Nothing is wrong with it, it just deserves respect.

anything cottony
At laaaaast. Back to where we began with the cottony thing. Life is so fruggin sweaty in this city during the summer and if I've learned anything from last year it's to not screw around with this humidity and heat and to just wear BREATHABLE CLOTHES for once in your life. Thus I present to you a collection of floofy skirts and floofy shirts, breezy tees and ^undies. I would also like to share with you here my best kept secret that is this: contrary to popular opinion the most comfortable thing you could ever do is wear socks with ur sandals in the summer. Let me tell you; don't want blisters? Wear socks with ur sandals. It's that ~*simple*~ and also it's pretty cute.

BONUS ROUND: fishnets!
speaking of socks, I can't stop and I wont stop and I couldn't leave without mentioning fishnets. Again, going along with my seasonally inappropriate theme here, invest in a pair of wide fishnet tights for under your gingham sundress or a sock version for your open-toed shoes... Guys, it's a good idea, trust me believe me I would never lead you astray. It's layering made breezy. And with that thought, I depart. x

For shopping resources and a visual illustration of the sixteen paragraphs I wrote above, please see the pinterest board: things for springs

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